When Someone You Love Is Struggling, and You Are Running Out of Strength
Loving someone through a difficult season can leave you exhausted, worried, and unsure what to do next. This devotional explores how to love faithfully without believing everything depends on you.
Scripture Focus:
“Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
Galatians 6:2, NRSVUE
There is a particular kind of tiredness that comes from loving someone who is struggling.
It isn’t necessarily the tiredness of doing too much physically. Sometimes it comes from thinking about someone when they aren’t in the room. Wondering how they are doing. Wondering what they will need next. Wondering whether something you say will help or make things harder.
You may pray for them, encourage them, listen to them, worry about them, and try to understand what they are going through. And after a while, you may notice something uncomfortable.
You are tired too.
That can bring its own kind of guilt.
Shouldn’t I be stronger?
If I really love this person, shouldn’t I be able to keep going?
Am I selfish for needing a break?
I’ve been thinking about how easy it is to confuse loving someone with being responsible for them. They are not the same thing.
I can love someone deeply and still have limits.
I can pray faithfully and still not know what will happen.
I can stand beside someone without being able to change their heart, their choices, or their circumstances.
And perhaps most importantly, I can love someone without forgetting that I, too, belong in the care of Christ.
What Does It Mean to Bear Someone’s Burden?
Paul’s words in Galatians 6 are beautiful, but they need to be read carefully.
He writes:
“Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
The surrounding passage is about restoring someone gently, helping one another, and living with humility rather than comparison or pride.
Paul is not describing a life where one person becomes responsible for carrying everything another person experiences.
A few verses later, he writes:
“For all must carry their own loads.”
Galatians 6:5, NRSVUE
At first, those statements might seem contradictory.
Bear one another’s burdens.
Carry your own load.
But perhaps there is wisdom in holding both together.
There are burdens that become too heavy for one person to carry alone. We were not created for complete isolation. Sometimes love means sitting beside someone, helping practically, listening without judgment, praying with them, or simply refusing to walk away because their season is difficult.
But there are also responsibilities that belong to another person and realities that belong ultimately to God.
I cannot live someone else’s life for them.
I cannot make every decision for them.
I cannot make them choose differently.
I cannot guarantee their future.
And I cannot become their Saviour.
That last role already belongs to Jesus.
Loving Someone Does Not Mean Saving Them
This may be one of the hardest truths to accept when someone we love is struggling.
When we care deeply, we naturally want to make things better.
We want the phone call to bring good news.
We want the difficult conversation to change something.
We want the person we love to be okay.
We want to see movement where there seems to be none.
And when nothing changes, we can begin searching ourselves for what we could have done differently.
Maybe I should have said more.
Maybe I should have said less.
Maybe I should have noticed something sooner.
Maybe I should pray harder.
Maybe I should be more patient.
Maybe I should do more.
But there is a point where love has to surrender the illusion that more effort from me can produce an outcome that belongs to God and another person.
That does not mean becoming indifferent.
It means becoming honest.
There are things I can do.
There are things I cannot do.
And wisdom begins when I learn the difference.
Sometimes I Am the One Who Needs Someone to Carry Me
This is the part I don’t want to overlook.
When someone else is struggling, it is very easy for their needs to become the centre of everything.
How are they doing?
What happened today?
What do they need?
What should I say?
What should I do?
What happens next?
But quietly, somewhere underneath all those questions, another one may be waiting:
How am I doing?
Sometimes nobody asks.
And sometimes we don’t ask ourselves.
We simply keep functioning.
We keep answering.
We keep praying.
We keep trying.
Then one day we realize that our own heart is exhausted.
That doesn’t mean we have stopped loving.
It means we are human.
Jesus never asked His followers to become limitless.
He Himself stepped away from crowds to pray. He rested. He received care from others. He wept. He acknowledged grief.
There is no shame in having limits.
There is no spiritual failure in saying, “I need help today.”
There is no failure in needing quiet.
There is no failure in admitting that something hurts.
And there is no failure in asking someone else to pray for you while you continue praying for the person you love.
What If I Feel Guilty for Taking Care of Myself?
This is an honest objection.
Sometimes caring for ourselves can feel wrong when someone else is hurting.
How can I rest when they are struggling?
How can I laugh when they are having a hard day?
How can I enjoy an ordinary moment when someone I love is facing something difficult?
But compassion does not require us to suffer every moment that another person suffers.
Jesus’ command to love our neighbour does not erase the command to love God, nor does it require us to despise ourselves.
There is a difference between compassion and self-destruction.
If I become so exhausted that I have nothing left to give, that does not necessarily make me more loving.
Sometimes the more faithful response is to pause.
Sometimes it is to ask someone else for help.
Sometimes it is to say, “I cannot handle this conversation right now, but I care about you and we can talk later.”
Sometimes it is to sleep.
Sometimes it is to pray and admit:
“Jesus, I don’t know what to do.”
That prayer may be more honest than pretending we have all the answers.
I Can Love Without Carrying Everything
I think this is where Galatians 6 becomes especially meaningful.
To bear someone’s burden can mean:
- listening without immediately trying to fix everything
- offering practical help when we genuinely can
- praying faithfully
- encouraging someone toward wise support
- being present when presence is appropriate
- speaking honestly when honesty is necessary
- asking for help when the situation is beyond our capacity
- respecting another person’s responsibility for their own choices
- recognizing when we need rest
None of these require me to become everything to someone else.
I don’t have to have the perfect words.
I don’t have to know what tomorrow will bring.
I don’t have to understand every part of another person’s struggle.
And I don’t have to prove my love by becoming completely depleted.
Love can remain faithful even when my capacity is limited.
That matters to me.
Because there are seasons when showing up looks different.
Sometimes showing up means making the phone call.
Sometimes it means sitting quietly.
Sometimes it means praying.
Sometimes it means stepping back.
Sometimes it means accepting that today I simply don’t have the strength to do more.
That doesn’t erase love.
What Faithfulness Can Look Like Today
If you are loving someone through a difficult season, perhaps you don’t need another list of things to accomplish.
Perhaps you need permission to stop measuring your love by how much you can carry.
Try asking yourself:
1. What is actually mine to do today?
Not everything that could possibly be done.
Just what is yours today?
Maybe it is one conversation.
Maybe it is preparing a meal.
Maybe it is making an appointment.
Maybe it is praying.
Maybe it is resting.
2. What belongs to the other person?
Their choices.
Their responses.
Their decisions.
Their willingness to receive help.
Their journey with God.
You can care deeply without taking responsibility for what belongs to them.
3. What am I carrying that I need to bring honestly to Jesus?
Don’t clean up the prayer first.
If you’re angry, tell Him.
If you’re frightened, tell Him.
If you’re exhausted, tell Him.
If you’re disappointed, tell Him.
If you’re unsure what you feel, tell Him that too.
4. Who can help me carry this season?
God often cares for us through other people.
Asking for support is not an admission that your faith is weak.
It may simply be an honest recognition that you were never meant to carry everything alone.
Still Walking This Journey?
There are seasons when we need Scripture, prayer, and gentle reminders that we don’t have to navigate everything alone.
Receive new Healing Journey with Christ devotionals in your inbox and access free Scripture cards, prayers, reading plans, journaling pages, and other Resource Library materials.
You Are Allowed to Be Tired
I want to say this plainly because someone reading this may need permission to hear it.
You are allowed to be tired.
You are allowed to have complicated feelings about a situation you wish were different.
You are allowed to love someone and still feel frustrated.
You are allowed to pray for change and still admit that you don’t know whether change will come.
You are allowed to need support.
You are allowed to take a breath before answering.
You are allowed to have an ordinary, peaceful moment even when someone you love is struggling.
You are allowed to laugh.
You are allowed to sleep.
You are allowed to care for your own heart.
None of those things mean that you have stopped caring.
They mean you are acknowledging your humanity.
And perhaps that is part of what it means to trust Christ.
Not pretending that we can carry everything.
But admitting that we cannot.
Jesus Is Still the One Who Carries What I Cannot
There are burdens I can help carry.
There are burdens I cannot carry.
And there are burdens that ultimately belong in the hands of God.
That doesn’t mean I stop praying.
It doesn’t mean I stop loving.
It doesn’t mean I stop showing compassion.
It means I stop pretending that everything depends on me.
That is a significant difference.
I can say:
“Jesus, I love this person, and I don’t know how to help them.”
I can say:
“Jesus, I am worried, and I am tired.”
I can say:
“Jesus, show me what is mine to do and give me wisdom about what is not.”
And then I can take today’s step.
Not tomorrow’s.
Not next month’s.
Not the entire future.
Just today’s.
Because I don’t have to know how the whole story ends in order to be faithful in this chapter.
When Love Is Hard, Stay Close to Christ
Perhaps the person you love is struggling in a way you cannot understand.
Perhaps you’ve been praying for a long time.
Perhaps you are tired of wondering what comes next.
Perhaps you feel guilty because part of you wishes you could have a normal day without worrying.
Bring that honestly to Jesus.
You don’t need to make yourself less human before approaching Him.
You don’t need to manufacture peace.
You don’t need to pretend you’re stronger than you are.
Come as you are.
Let Christ meet you there.
And remember this:
You don’t have to stop loving someone in order to stop trying to save them.
Their life is not ultimately resting on your shoulders.
Your love matters.
Your prayers matter.
Your presence may matter deeply.
But Christ is Christ, and you are not required to become Him.
You are His beloved too.
Journaling Prompts
Take a quiet moment and write honestly. There are no perfect answers.
- What has been hardest for me about loving someone through their current struggle?
- Where have I confused loving someone with being responsible for their outcome?
- What do I genuinely have the capacity to do right now, and what may be beyond my capacity?
- What am I afraid might happen if I allow myself to rest or ask someone else for help?
- What would I like to say honestly to Jesus about this situation that I have been afraid, ashamed, or too tired to say?
A Quiet Place to Write and Pray
When someone we love is struggling, our thoughts can become crowded with questions, fears, prayers, and things we don’t know how to say.
Sometimes it helps to have a quiet place where those thoughts can be brought before God.
A prayer journal can give you space to write a prayer, record a Scripture that speaks to you, acknowledge what you’re feeling, or simply sit with God without needing to have everything figured out.
The Our Daily Bread Prayer Journal: For Hope-Filled Quiet Times provides space for personal reflection along with Scripture, encouraging words, writing prompts, and nature photography. It is designed to help create a quiet rhythm of bringing your thoughts and cares before God.
Explore the Our Daily Bread Prayer Journal on Amazon →
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A Prayer When Someone You Love Is Struggling
Lord Jesus,
You know the person I love.
You know what they are carrying, what I understand, and what I don’t.
You know how much I want things to be different.
You also know how tired I can become.
Help me love without believing that everything depends on me.
Give me wisdom to know when to speak, when to listen, when to help, and when to step back.
Teach me to recognize the difference between carrying a burden with someone and trying to carry their entire life for them.
When guilt tells me I should always be doing more, remind me that I am Your child too.
Give me permission to rest when I need rest.
Give me courage to ask for help when I need help.
Give me compassion without losing wisdom.
And when I cannot see what comes next, help me trust You with what I cannot control.
Hold the person I love in Your care.
And hold me too.
I don’t know how this story will unfold, Lord, but I know I don’t have to carry it alone.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
A Free Resource for This Season
If you are finding yourself emotionally tired, one gentle place to begin is with the Finding Peace 30-Day Scripture Reading Plan. It provides a simple daily rhythm for returning to God’s Word when your thoughts feel crowded or your heart needs somewhere steady to rest. The resource is already being used in the site’s Resource Library pathway.
Visit the Healing Journey with Christ Resource Library
Continue Your Journey
If this devotional has met you in a season where loving someone has become emotionally exhausting, these previously published reflections offer different pieces of the journey:
When God Builds Strength Before He Changes the Situation explores what it means to recognize God’s work within us even when the circumstances around us have not changed.
When God Builds Strength Before He Changes the Situation
The Kind of Strength I Never Noticed I Was Building reflects on perseverance, emotional exhaustion, and the quieter forms of strength that develop through ordinary days.
The Kind of Strength I Never Noticed I Was Building
And if you need a reminder that receiving support is not weakness, the When I Need Help resource centers on asking for help, accepting support, resting while others help, and trusting God through the process.
Still Walking This Journey?
Receive new Healing Journey with Christ devotionals in your inbox and access free Scripture cards, prayers, reading plans, journaling pages, and other Resource Library materials.
Let’s Stay Connected
If you are walking alongside someone who is struggling, you don’t have to explain the whole situation here.
You might simply share a Scripture that has helped you.
Or a prayer you are holding onto.
Or perhaps just one word describing what you need from God today.
You are welcome to leave a comment or ask for prayer.
You don’t have to share anything private.
Share Your Story
Sometimes an honest story helps another person realize they are not the only one walking through a difficult season.
If God has met you while you were caring for someone, waiting for change, learning your limits, asking for help, or discovering a deeper dependence on Christ, your experience may encourage someone else.
Share only what you are comfortable sharing. You never need to include painful, identifying, or private details.
